i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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