haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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