I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
