"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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