I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
