does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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