he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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