Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
