ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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