He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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