:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
