I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize