Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize