i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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