I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
