I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
