Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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