So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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