Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
