we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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