We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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