epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
