Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
