i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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