Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize