Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
