Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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