I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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