His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
