Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
