hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
