Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
