Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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