Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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