Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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