My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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