it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
