She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
