I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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