check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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