an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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