shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
