shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm at about main and main street
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
