i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize