I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
