i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
