didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
