stop calling my apartment porn island.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
