Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
