I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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