Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
