I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
