talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
