When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
