This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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