Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize