I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
