I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
