lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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