dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
