Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
