I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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