So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
