A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
