When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
